I still remember the day that I realized that what I was doing to try to get pregnant just wasn’t working.
I had been Googling and researching for months, visited my OB a couple of times, and I had been charting my basal body temperature day after day.
But, I was struggling.
Struggling to know my body.
Struggling to communicate with my husband.
Struggling to get pregnant.
I was ovulating normally and timing correctly.
I was at my wits end.
I didn’t know where to turn.
I knew something needed to change.
After all, I always wanted to have a baby – deep in my bones. My sister had three many years before, and I was a great, doting aunt.
The love I felt for them and my desire to have a family was enormous.
But month after month, we kept getting a BFNs (big fat negatives). This trying was not what imagined it would be. It came so easy for everyone else.
Or so I thought.
I was 35, and time was ticking away. What was I going to have to change? When will it be my turn to become a mother?
There had to be something more I could do.
There is another way.
Does any of this sound familiar?
Then you’re in the right place. I’m glad you found me, because there’s something really important that I want you to know. Something I wish more women know when they are trying to conceive.
I want you to know that it actually is possible to get pregnant and stay pregnant as well (AND make deep and lasting changes to your life).
Notice I didn’t say it will require fertility treatments. That’s not the angle we’re exploring here, today.
We’re talking about getting healthy, so you get pregnant, carry to term, and hold your healthy baby.
And I know that can feel like a lot of work, right?
You might be already feeling a little you’ve been doing everything you can.
That’s cool. Stay with me, anyway.
If you’re even a little bit uncertain with the notion that you can get pregnant – maybe because you feel like your body just isn’t working right or your eggs are too old or you cannot handle another loss – you’re in good company. I’ve been there. Ooooh, have I been there.
You see, back then, I was a 35 year old newly married, work from home, career focused women who knew nothing about her health or how her body worked.
“Okay, Ami, but what does a 35 year old career driven woman have to do with me and my getting pregnant??”
Well, when we decided to get pregnant, I figured all it would take was a intercourse with no birth control and then we would be pregnant. Easy, peasy.
Nope, nope. Didn’t happen that way.
We spent a year baby making on our own…with no success.
And, I don’t need to tell you how unromantic that was.
The sadness of getting my period every month and the strain on our relationship was building with every negative pregnancy test.
I was almost 36, my husband was 43, so we were no spring chickens.
After trying for longer than the prescribed 6 months, I also started seeing a fertility doctor, who told me that my chances were slim because of my high FSH.
And in fact, at that level, she said I was heading into menopause.
Then she layered on a couple of other diagnoses – endometriosis and diminished ovarian reserve on top of premature ovarian failure.
I realized I had to do something different than what I was doing. I am a type A personality, and I know that when doesn’t work, you have to try something else.
Albert Einstein said “the definition of insanity is doing something over and over again and expecting a different result.”
That’s when I met someone at a party who suggested something new.
It’s amazing when you decide you need a change, the Universe listens and brings you what you need.
This friend of a friend suggested I see a holistic practitioner, someone who would help me take a different view of my health. So I decided to give it a shot.
And, when I did, it blew me away. I was the kind of person to pop a Tylenol when I had a headache.
What I learned about my body from this holistic practitioner was life changing.
I quickly noticed my bloat was gone, my weight dropped, my acne was gone, my brain felt clear, and I could breathe better. I felt stronger both physically and mentally.
The years of birth control pills and other medications, eating anything I wanted, drinking large amounts of milk (and not much water) and soda, sleeping like crap, and constant rushing around taken its toll.
I only noticed that this was a problem when I was trying to get pregnant. It didnt occur to me that my overall health affected my fertility.
Before, healthy to me meant eating right (we hear this all the time but what is right?) and exercising.
Now I was learning so much more about what healthy meant.
And to my surprise, it was working.
While I was getting my body and mind into a new space (and getting my FSH down!), I was trying fertility treatments as well. After 3 years of trying to conceive, including 2 IUIs and 2 IVF cycles, I finally got my BFP.
My chances were slim with only 2 eggs retrieved. But, happily, both fertilized, we had a 3 day fresh transfer (which my clinic no longer offers), and had no genetic testing (because it wasn’t available then).
And one of those precious embryos stuck and created a wonderful, sweet, smart, and beautiful child. I was in love again.
But, that would not have happened without my husband and I making the lifestyle changes we did. Even though I could not change the quantity eggs I had, I could influence the quality of the eggs.
It was a long journey for us. Even though I had my naturopath to help me to discover some changes I needed to make, I wanted to learn more.
Why was all of this important? How do I continue to live this fertile way?
That was something I learned along the way both before and after my infertility journey, which when I got some additional training, so I could help others get there faster than me and guide them along the way.
Now I work for the IVF practice I personally went to, and I get to help and inspire patients who are asking, “what else can I be doing?”
You are likely wondering this too, right? It can be so overwhelming, scary, and hard to stay calm.
The good news — you can boost your chances of conceiving too, with or without fertility treatments.
You can get pregnant, you can stay pregnant, and you can have the family you want so bad.
But you have to be willing to take the next step.
Even when you’re not 100% sure.
Even when you don’t have all the answers.
Because doing nothing is still a decision. And doing nothing may not get you to where you want.
You’re NOT here because you want to sit back and trust it will just work out?
Whether you’re just beginning your TTC journey or you’re knee-deep in IVF, you’re here because you’re ready to make the changes that will help you get to motherhood — and you don’t have to do it alone.
So, come on, let’s get you moving forward!